We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
