That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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