just tell him i said nine months
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
