you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
