Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize