I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I can text with my tongue
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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