you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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