he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
