The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
