omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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