quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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