I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
