So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
