toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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