Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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