Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
