I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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