I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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