can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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