is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
