how hairy? two words: wookie tits
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
