I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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