She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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