How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
