Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
