I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
