chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Still dying that you shit outside
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
