i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
