I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
