a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
