At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
