just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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