We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
sarcasm needs its own font
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
