i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
