oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
