He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
