just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
