He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
