There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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