Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She announced her abortion via fbk
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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