I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
