No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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