Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
