So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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