um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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