a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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