I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
