How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
