Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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