I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
