So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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