roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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