hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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