the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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