I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize