4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
