just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
