Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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