i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
