If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
