Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
