I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
3pm strippers are depressing
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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