I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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