the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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