I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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