he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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