I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
